Listen. Talk. Resolve
The need to get our point across requires just as much listening as it does talking. Identifying and understanding the other person’s listening abilities allows us to tailor and deliver our message in a way that can be comprehended. When we can identify how someone listens, we can talk in a way they can understand.
How many times have you felt like you’re talking to a wall? There is no movement in the conversation as if the person cannot hear or understand what you’re saying to them. There are ways to approach these situations that don’t require insulting them or frustrating yourself.
As with all effective communication, questions must be asked. Asking questions allows us to see where in the conversation we are, decide where we want it to go, and, most importantly – how we can get it to move there.
It's always helpful to check in with the other person/people to ensure they follow your line of thought. Asking questions like "Does this make sense?" or "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" allows others to ask questions or seek clarification on your intentions and goals. Explaining your viewpoint and asking those questions will clarify what the other person has heard from you and what they think about what you’ve expressed to them.
We all have a natural tendency to tell stories. We speak our own truths through our stories. We also prefer a full story. Detailing the start, middle, and end. When we share our thoughts and opinions with others, we tell them our stories. Problems arise when people take blank spaces from our stories and fill them in as if they know, instead of asking the questions needed to fill in the blanks accurately. Leading them to hear or see a story that is not an accurate representation of the conflict or the person’s thoughts. Ask the appropriate questions in people’s stories to ensure you have their full intentions and thoughts on the matter, leaving no blank spaces to be filled in and leaving little room for miscommunication.
Hearing other's feedback on those questions can be difficult in emotional or contentious conversations; however, in order to keep others engaged in active listening, we must exemplify it. Practicing active listening daily and keeping your intentions at the forefront of discussions increases the chances of creating a resolution. When we can truly listen to others and speak in a way others can hear, we can navigate a path forward without the restraints of miscommunication.
Always happy to hear your thoughts, problems, and examples!
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