Co-Parenting Insights #2 The Holidays
'Tis the season for added stress, higher tensions, and the exchange of nasty words. Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging. Depending on the parents' locations and custodial schedules, it can be one of the most difficult times of the year. However, there are some things that can be done to help reduce fighting and potential conflicts. By doing them, you can enjoy the peace and comfort that holidays are supposed to bring.
The Game Plan
Having a well-thought-out plan can make all the difference when it comes to co-parenting. Even if both parents don't see eye-to-eye on everything, creating a plan together can help establish cooperation and understanding. When creating a plan, it's essential to consider factors like school vacations, family traditions, and travel. By doing so, you can ensure that everyone's needs are being met and that the co-parenting process is as smooth and constructive as possible. Remember, working together is critical to successful co-parenting!
Pep-talk
The holiday season can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. With additional life stressors such as work, relationships, and parenting, it becomes difficult to communicate, process, and understand things, leading to miscommunication and misinterpretation. Therefore, giving ourselves some extra time to respond to situations or people that provoke negative emotions is crucial. We must acknowledge our current emotional state and exercise patience with ourselves and others as we navigate the holiday season.
It's important to remember that our time to experience the magic and wonder of the holiday season with our children is limited. Therefore, it's crucial to prioritize spending quality time with our children instead of fighting with their other parent. Although it can be challenging, letting go of bitterness and resentment towards the other parent can help us see that both parents are on the same team and want the same thing: a happy and memorable holiday season for their children.
Game day
Sticking to the plan discussed and agreed upon is crucial, even if it may not be ideal for everyone involved. Following through with the plan can establish a positive co-parenting relationship and build trust for future plans. However, suppose you feel the schedule does not work in the child’s best interest. In that case, it is essential to communicate your concerns and ask for another conversation to discuss possible solutions. Remember that this time with your child is precious and fleeting; the memories you create together will last a lifetime. Maintaining composure during child exchanges and accepting the schedule ensures that your child feels loved and supported by both parents.
Follow up
As the year ends, it's a good idea to take some time to reflect on how things went. It's important to be constructive and promote productive conversations when giving feedback and critique. Instead of saying something negative like, "I'm not making that drive again next year; it’s just too far for me and unfair," you could try a more positive approach like, "The transportation was challenging due to our locations. Do you think it's reasonable to alternate it?" Remember to listen to the feedback provided by the other parent, too, as both homes contribute to creating a memorable holiday experience for your child. By putting in the same effort to make their holiday better with the other parent as you do at your own home, you'll be creating a positive and enjoyable experience for your child. It may not be easy at times, but it's for your child’s happiness.
Always happy to hear your thoughts, problems, and examples.
Click here to send me a message.
