Snowy Roads & The New Year
Sometimes, we must go backward to go forward. Anyone stuck in a New England driveway in the winter is probably familiar with rocking a car, allowing it to go backward, then pushing and using momentum to, hopefully, gain enough traction to get out.
It can feel instinctual to gun the gas; much like in conflict, we want to plow through the problem. The issue with having a lead foot on the gas is that that method isn't suitable for all situations, and if it is used in a non-applicable situation, it can worsen things. Spinning things out of control and potentially into a worse situation. Fighting the instinct to plow through a problem or put the pedal to the medal while stuck will serve us well in obtaining the goals. Getting out of snowbanks and problems happen when traction is made.
When we are stuck in our problems or the driveway, the goal isn't just to get out—it's to get out with as minimal damage as possible. We want as little emotional, financial, and personal hassle as possible. The desire to have it dealt with quickly and conveniently can distract us from the focus of keeping and/or gaining traction.
Traction is necessary to get us out of our current situation. It must be the focus because it leads to the goal. Without it, we are left exhausted and frustrated, spinning things up into a more complex situation.
How do we get this traction? Traction in our conflicts and on New England’s slushy, icy roads overlapped more than I was prepared to write about, starting with the first step of both being to determine the problem. We can determine how to get traction when we recognize why we don’t have it—examining the situation carefully and thinking about what is working to get you out and what isn’t working. What could work, and what won’t work? Suggest, brainstorm and theorize until you think you have strategy that will get traction. Then, implement it.
When methods are applied with a genuine attempt to gain traction, if they fail, it’s seen as new information to re-examine the situation. After trying to shovel, maybe you determine the problem was the ice. That would be new information to consider when deciding on a solution. If the focus was only on solving the problem, you might think the ice would be a setback, but with an emphasis on gaining traction, the ice can be seen as information required to obtain it.
The new information provided with every attempt should be integrated with solutions. For example, you wouldn’t try to shovel a driveway of ice and expect to get out anytime soon. Again, if you genuinely want out of the situation, you’ll only do things that work for traction, not for the goal. Chipping away at the ice would get you out, but it would not be an efficient way.
Re-examining our problems with information from previous attempts clears the way for new solutions. It can become clearer what a solution is the more we identify the problem.
Working through problems and Vermont roads in the winter brings an array of situations that present opportunities for learning and growth when that’s what we look for. Keeping traction in our communications and driving is something I hope for all of us in 2025.
Have a great new year. As always, I am happy to hear your thoughts, problems, or examples. You can email them to me here.
